The new shirtcocking?
Many of you may remember my friend Crazy Virgo’s little issue with shirtcocking. Well, here’s a new one, though, I think someone needs to give it a better word because frankly I’m still a little too shaken from my experience and am in no mood for naming.
I’ve just been bus-humped. I was on either the 47 or 49 heading up Van Ness, the bus is completely full, so I’m standing. I’m in front of one of those glorious one-seaters, minding my own damn business, looking out the window when a large man comes up and stands behind me, his front pressed into my back. I tried to move but there was nowhere to go. Suddenly, he’s moving – nay- GRINDING himself into me. And this is not a good grinding. I’m…uncomfortable to say the least. So I turn my head around, intending to look mean, then see that he’s a very large man, much taller than me (and I’m pretty tall) and I manage to muster up “um, EXCUSE me?” (yes, with a question mark at the end because I’m all of a sudden not so sure if I want to be all sassy with this man). He laughs. Then grinds slower. Apparently, the feedback from his other bus lovers has been “slower movement”. I de-boarded at the next stop. Ick.
So was I bus-humped? Or bus-grinded (ground?)? Is there an 800 # for this?
I’ve just been bus-humped. I was on either the 47 or 49 heading up Van Ness, the bus is completely full, so I’m standing. I’m in front of one of those glorious one-seaters, minding my own damn business, looking out the window when a large man comes up and stands behind me, his front pressed into my back. I tried to move but there was nowhere to go. Suddenly, he’s moving – nay- GRINDING himself into me. And this is not a good grinding. I’m…uncomfortable to say the least. So I turn my head around, intending to look mean, then see that he’s a very large man, much taller than me (and I’m pretty tall) and I manage to muster up “um, EXCUSE me?” (yes, with a question mark at the end because I’m all of a sudden not so sure if I want to be all sassy with this man). He laughs. Then grinds slower. Apparently, the feedback from his other bus lovers has been “slower movement”. I de-boarded at the next stop. Ick.
So was I bus-humped? Or bus-grinded (ground?)? Is there an 800 # for this?
posted by Single, Party of One at 11:09 PM
5 Comments:
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The diagnostic term for this is "Frotteurism," defined as: "Over a period of at least six months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving touching and rubbing against a nonconsenting person. The person has acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty." This leaves us with two big questions: (1) Has he been doing this for at least six months? If so, you were frotteurized. If not, you were bus-humped. (2) Were you consenting? If not, you were frotteurized/bus-humped. If so, you got lucky.
i have a friend who, when he was 5, was taken by his parents to see a phsychologist on account of his carpet humping. i've known his family since i was 12, so his little colombian mother admited this to me when we were in college. now 27, he is one of the horniest people i've met in my life...but has never done anything like this. woah.
yes, you were BUS-HUMPED. you deserve nothing less than a Lifetime movie of the week for your victimization (which will include, of course, a shower scene of you washing away your emotions and the dirty feelings that were inflicted upon you.
and, Julia Roberts will play you of course.
bacon! was this you?
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/86185000.html
delurking to find out the truth.
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